How to Connect to Your Guidance and Trust Yourself During Hard Times
For awhile now, I’ve been talking about a big decision that I had made that I wanted to share with you. I kept going to share it, and I kept getting to wait until I had the complete picture.
I’m happy to say, that I finally have the full picture, and I want to share with you making this decision during such a volatile time in our world and all of the magic that comes into play when we are connected to our guidance and trust our truth over the world’s!
So, first of all, I moved from Chicago to Scottsdale, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT here!
This journey all started several months ago when I (finally!) got the hit that it was time to go. I say finally, as for years, moving has been on my radar, but every time I would ask about it, I would get to stay.
This year was different, though. You see, I had gotten home from another trip, and while I had forgotten about the noise issues I have had in my unit for years, I was reminded immediately when I got back.
And, that was the first moment of surrender in this process. I went into my bathroom and was sitting on the toilet (in an effort to get away from the noise, not because i had to go – ha!), and I started crying, knowing I couldn’t do it anymore.
It was in that moment when I said those words out loud and asked to be shown another way.
That evening, I was talking with my cousin, who’s very intuitive, and she said nonchalantly, “Deb, you’re going to have to move.” What’s interesting is while moving had been in my peripheral vision for many years, that day moving hadn’t even crossed my mind.
But, when she said it, I knew she was right.
Initially, I thought about staying within Chicago, but I noticed as I was talking about it, that it didn’t feel quite right. That’s when the question, where else might I want to live popped in.
Arizona came to my consciousness and read as a yes for many reasons – it’s calm, having family here (and my dad being much closer), the value for your money (I could get a lot more space for my budget.) and being close to a lot of nature and still fairly central for my travels. And, as I was looking at this decision, I asked a couple of people their take on it, too, and both reinforced my own intuition.
And, while the noise in my place was the igniter for my decision, this decision was made for two reasons – to stretch myself (I believe that’s where so much of the good occurs!) and to upgrade my life. (While I didn’t realize it until months later, the last time I made such a huge decision (which is when my awakening occurred), everything changed, and I truly believe we have to be willing to do something different to create different results. By the way, even in my decision to do this, things started changing. Doors that I’ve been working on for years have opened, and this was before I had even left my old apartment!)
So, this was step #1. Then, I actually had to get comfortable with it, as I had lived in the same place for sixteen years!!
For awhile I only shared it with a few people, and even in sharing it with them, I noticed my wobbliness. After all, it was a big decision.
But, I started to get more comfortable with it, and even put my notice in with my landlord.
Then, of course, coronavirus hit full-on. (Remember when I asked to be stretched?! Careful what you ask for – you might just get it.)
Cue my HUGE activation in self-trust.
Initially, I was moving forward as planned. Then, things started to get worse and worse, though I was still getting to go.
Then, it came time to travel to Arizona to find a place.
After my aunt and uncle couldn’t have me at their place to stay because they’re in a higher-risk age category mixed with my realtor not being able to show me places because of a similar reason, I had two responses:
1) The strong feeling that both of those were for me.
2) A strong desire to surrender again.
So, I did.
As I sat in my apartment, I felt disappointment welling up inside of me and I started to cry. Even though I knew what was happening was serving me, it was disappointing that the things I thought were going to happen were falling through.
Then, I proceeded to say out loud, “I will do whatever is best. If I need to postpone this, I will.” Then, I asked for super clear guidance on what to do. While I don’t often pull cards, I felt called to pull a tarot card, and asked if I should cancel my move. The card I pulled was “No!” This was very clear to me. (By the way, that deck has two “No” cards and I got the stronger “No!”) With this, I had the feeling that things had already been set in motion and delaying it would have messed up what was already “done.”
So, I proceeded to move forward and went to Arizona in April. Then, another interesting thing happened. I thought for sure if I was being guided to travel during these crazy times that I would find a place when I went down there, but I didn’t. This was surprising to me, as while my guides had beckoned all along that I would be fine traveling, I didn’t think they would send me during these times to not end up finding my place.
When I asked them about this, they told me they wanted me to be really bought into the move, which happened when I went down there. (While Arizona is really over, everything is down to me!) Truth-be-told, when I got there I didn’t want to leave, and pulling up to my apartment in Chicago, it didn’t feel like home anymore.
This was coupled with being able to say no to what I didn’t want to be able to get clearer and clearer with the Universe on what I did want. For me, this meant saying no to an apartment that felt good on the inside, but had construction outside its window. It meant saying no to an apartment that was on a golf course and had a ton of space, but had regular trash pick-up at 6 am right outside my bedroom window three times each week. It meant saying no to an apartment that had great space but that I didn’t feel safe in.
So, I set out getting all of my stuff together, in complete trust I was going to find the right place and that I would just have to move without knowing where I was going to live (another lesson in trust and surrender), knowing with this that there was magic happening that I couldn’t yet see. (Another part in the trust piece.)
In the process of all of this, I had hired some movers. Now most of the decisions I make, I make totally intuitively, but with this decision, I overrode my intuition. To be honest, it wasn’t sitting well with me. And, yet, even though it wasn’t sitting well, I kept overriding it, even though I could cancel without penalty up until a few days before.
It was the night before my move when I finally did cancel with them. There was so much not sitting well with me, and I wasn’t feeling good about giving a bunch of strangers who didn’t feel fully ethical my stuff.
Now to put this in perspective, I only had two days at that point to move out of my building, and I had reserved the elevator for that following afternoon (and there were no available elevator times the day after not to mention where I lived has very strict parameters on this). (I.e., I can’t move out at midnight.)
But, I just knew I was going to find new movers that would move me out when I needed them to.
So, the morning of my move I used my intuition and reached out to two of the movers who I had previously talked to who had felt good. While both couldn’t do it, one was able to recommend one that could, and everything went fine.
Another self-trust activation.
Then, after moving out, it was time to find the right place for me. So, when I got to Arizona, I had a list of the places that were available that I had seen coming up.
Now during most times in Arizona, apartments don’t stay on the market long here, but because of everything that was going on, this time was different.
And, while I had gotten out here late on Thursday, with the intention of starting to look by Saturday, I didn’t actually get my car until late Sunday afternoon (Let’s just say, nothing was going as planned, but all I could feel was a strong knowing that everything was working out (in between moments of panic around where I was going to live :)). With this, I felt myself surrendering my timeline and trusting the timeline that was being laid out in front of me.)
The next day I found a place I could absolutely live in, though something wasn’t feeling fully right about it, something that really had me keep looking. I knew, in doing so, it was either going to reinforce my yes or something better was going to pop in.
And, randomly, and really, synchronistically, one of the realtors that was supposed to show me a place, knowing that I already had a realtor, offered to send me more places that I hadn’t seen. (I’m not sure this would have happened had my realtor been able to physically show me places.)
When he sent these, he sent some really beautiful spaces, and I was extremely hopeful the place I was going to live was in one of the places he had sent.
And, while I had initially picked out eight, my realtor asked me to narrow down my search for times-sake.
She called four, and I was able to see two. And, the second place I walked into, I LOVED, so much so, I almost told the realtor to get out of my way when I walked in. LOL.
I moved in two days later, and looking back, this place pretty much had everything I had asked for (and more!) on the list I had created months earlier. (In fact, in putting this list together, this was me gaining clarity and holding space for my perfect apartment, telling the Universe that I could have what I wanted (and more!).) Not to mention, even though it hadn’t been on the market very long, they had dropped the price $200 per month, which is unheard of, and was what had put it in my budget in the first place!
Oh, and one more interesting piece. The day I was moving in here my Guides helped me to see the two apartments I had been looking at more clearly. While the first apartment that I really liked was very nice, though it wasn’t nearly as upgraded, this apartment was very feminine. The apartment I moved into, which is highly upgraded, is masculine. Initially, I felt more comfortable in the feminine apartment, because, I had never lived in an upgraded apartment before, so this was what was comfortable to me. This was mixed with, if you know anything about polarity, if you’re in a masculine space, you’re more likely to be in your feminine, and if you’re in a feminine space, you’re more likely to be in your masculine. While I had never thought about it this way before, I love that my new apartment is holding space (which is a masculine practice) for that next level of my life, which is exactly what my intention was to begin with.
So, here I am. I’ve landed at my new place. I’m grateful to be healthy, and I’m writing to you from my new balcony. (Pic above.) And, as the powerful reality creators that we all are, I, in conjunction with my guides, including my mom who played a big role in co-creating this with me, created this beautiful, new reality out of nothing, and could not have asked for a more powerful activation to bring me from there to here.
And, my wish for you – Nothing less than this.
Sending so much love,
Deb