The other day I was reminded of my journey breaking into Outside Medical Sales. I had been in Corporate Travel for several years, and I had found a job doing inside sales selling a wound-closure device. In just a short time in this brand-new department, my colleague and I had some great successes, especially given the fact that it was a brand-new department and we were selling a product over the phone that was typically sold in person. Unfortunately, though, as I’ve seen multiple times in my career, management didn’t give the department the time that it needed to solidify, and before I knew it, they were announcing they were going to close the department.
I already knew I wanted to get into Outside Medical Sales, though, so this didn’t really phase me, as one of my questions in the interview process was about the potential for this, which they said there was.
So, I started to open this door and talk to many of the Regional Directors, my Manager and the VP of Sales at the time. The Regional Directors who had worked with me personally and knew the quality of my work were totally onboard. Unfortunately, though, the VP of Sales, who was very old-school and my Manager, who typically followed Management’s lead and took what they said as gospel, didn’t echo this statement.
Over and over, I heard my Manager say, “You can’t do this,” “You’re not qualified,” and “It’s not possible,” to name a few. He might as well have been saying, “You suck.” and “You’re not good enough and you never will be.” Even with an extremely strong employment and success history and even with everything that I had previously done, this words penetrated deeply, and I’m disappointed to say that I believed them.
And, even though, it only took me six weeks to get an Outside Medical Sales job at another company, as I entered this next role, I still could hear these harsh words seeping through everything that I did in my new role. Even with much success in this role and typically being chosen for exclusive opportunities and always thought of highly, inside I felt extremely mediocre, and at times, like a fraud at my job. This continued on for years, and really lasted the entire time of my employment, as no matter what I did and how I performed, I couldn’t shake this harsh criticism. And, while I wasn’t aware of it until I really dug into my personal growth and self-love journey, which I started on about mid-way through my employment at this company, It was always the verbiage that was echoing in my head.
On the opposite end, of course I knew what he had said to me wasn’t true, and even that my belief in it had created this experience to begin with, but with all of this awareness, nothing changed until recently, when my Guides guided me to start to clear my Corporate past.
As I started to look at my employment history, which started over 25 years ago, I started to realize how much subconscious and unconscious verbal and emotional abuse I had experienced at my jobs, abuse that, at the time, was mainly considered normal and probably wouldn’t have been considered abuse at all, everything from what I described above to being picked on or bullied by a colleague. Of course, I never thought of it in this way at the time, and even with this Manager I speak of, in my mind, I think he thought he was helping me and doing the right thing, and even deeper, likely what he was saying was really about him.
As I started to work with these, though, I began to realize how defining many of these experiences were, and really, how they were holding me back. This included everything from my beliefs about Corporate and for me, Sales, in general, to the energy that I took on in each role, each experience and with various working relationships.
If you can relate to any of this, which if you’ve ever had a job, I’m guessing you can on some level, I invite you to join me at Saturday’s Clearing Your Corporate Past Workshop. You can find out more information and sign-up here.
This workshop is perfect if you’re moving into a new role or business, whether it’s someone else’s or your own, or on the opposite end, you’re desiring to let go of the weight, and really, the beliefs you’ve taken on that are no longer working for you!
Either way, I wish you peace, calm and ease on this journey. May you always know the truth about yourself, who you are and who you are meant to be at all times!
Deb